Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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