I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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