Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
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Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
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All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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