I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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