Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
