WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
