break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
