Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
