Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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