Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't judge my taste in strippers
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize