The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
