i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
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Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?