You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
3pm strippers are depressing
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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