i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.