Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
