Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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