My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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