So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
