Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She bit a glass in half.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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