Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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