At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
