hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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