I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
