he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
