i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
