I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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