why didn't you poke me back
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
How's work?
Spinning.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Let's get the cat blown out
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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