soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
