Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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