Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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