just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
