Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
