well you can't waste a boner
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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