i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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