never play flip cup with pint glasses
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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