How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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