He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
