she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Pappa wants mamma naked
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
