We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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