And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
