Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
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I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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