last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Randomize