remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
