The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
