You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
