Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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