i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
