My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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