like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
