Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
What drink are we having for lunch?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
