We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Can I color on your dick again?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
