I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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