i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
