So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
