She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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