Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
